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Action Plus may look like a happy, carefree band — but as with so many of today's top pop groups, its members have a few dark secrets...

Ancient History	What Does That Thing Do?	Shameful Influences
Action Plus Promo Vixens	Secret Turn-Ons	The Weirdest Gig Ever

Ancient Action Plus History

Believe it or not, everybody's favorite talking mime was not part of the original lineup of Action Plus!

Sally Dana joined the band as a replacement for percussionist/vocalist Dmitra Smith, a gorgeous flake who broke Joe's and Ursula's hearts when she bailed on the band in its formative stages. Since she waited until just after an expensive photo shoot to quit, we are able to share photographic evidence of her involvement in Action Plus.

Ursula and Joe took their revenge by writing the song "Bongos 4 Sale" about Miss Smith's departure. In later days, lucky Action Plus fans may occasionally have seen Dmitra as one of our bewitching Action Plus Promo Vixens, holding court at the Action Plus Promo Hut during shows.

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What Does That Thing Do?

We're sorry to report that the coconut-head monkey on Sally's percussion rack is not a functional instrument — it's a bird feeder from Cost Plus.

Pussy Diablo (a.k.a. Brad), the official Action Plus Pussy, is similarly decorative rather than functional in nature. (Though certain house sound people swear by his ability to reduce amp noise.)

The autoharp is supposed to be completely out of tune, but thanks for checking.

The Electrofragmentizer is the original control panel for the device of the same name featured in the film "Our Man Flint." Besides making large objects disappear, it's a powerful sampler and hot tub filtration system all in one.

Joe's pedalboard is the altar at which many mesmerized guitar boys have worshipped. It is an organic, constantly evolving sound organism; the expensive-looking stuff is invariably cheap, and vice-versa. Despite years of working at a guitar geek magazine, Joe had to pay for it all.

Sally Dana's wild Theremin gesticulations are a highlight of Action Plus's performances. We don't mean to spoil anyone's fun, but the truth is she's not really playing it, nor is it a real Theremin. The device is a toy Theremin that Joe picked up in Tokyo while on a break from PJ Harvey's To Bring You My Love tour. It has a collapsible transistor radio-style antenna and a volume control, and that's about it. Sally cleverly emulates the fluctuating pitch of a real Theremin with a pitch-control foot pedal; the rest is pure theatrics, which is why we love Sally in the first place.

BTW this illusion has a historical precedent; in the Led Zeppelin movie The Song Remains the Same, Jimmy Page is up to the same trick, apparently playing a Theremin with a violin bow but actually controlling the sound with an Echoplex unit.

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Shameful Artistic Influences

How did Action Plus get that way? Snuffle through Action Plus members' creative memorabilia...

• Joe made money as a teenager by playing lute at the Southern California Renaissance Faire.
  
  
• Sally's mom is a coloratura soprano opera singer who has frequent singing duels with a parrot.
  
  
• When nobody's around, Pat listens to Tom Petty records.
  
  
• Ursula's earliest musical imprints include the Saint-Saens "Danse Macabre" and a patriotic children's record by Bozo the Clown.
  
  
• Cynthia used to be in a band called Emerald City, in which she sang, played, and looked like Geddy Lee.
  
  
• Joe was in the Bay Area's most popular World Beat band in the '80s.
  
  
• Sally was in a New Wave band in Seattle called The Attachments, along with Pansy Division bassist Chris Freeman.
  
  
• Cynthia and Ursula both know all the words to "Harold the Barrel."
  
  
• In his early teens, Pat played in a Top 40 cover band at a theme park in Salt Lake City.
  
  
• Joe was musically traumatized at age 4 when his mom had to explain that she couldn't make the car radio play "Puff, the Magic Dragon" again.
  
  
• Ursula may try to deny it, but we all know she's still a goth.
  
  
• Sally actually has FORMAL TRAINING in mime makeup techniques. She got an "A-" on the final exam.

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Action Plus Promo Vixens

Sexier, smarter, and far deadlier than any Bond girl, the Action Plus Promo Vixens have helped us sell merchandise at the Action Plus Promo Hut, guided people through the mailing-list sign-up process (a great sobriety test), patiently answered questions such as "What Does That Thing Do?" and provided visual relief in some of the dingier places we've played.

Dmitra Smith, Lena Inoue, Chris Freeman, Jon Ginoli, and Chris Mondt, we salute you!

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Secret Turn-Ons

• Pat is secretly turned on by the thought of Heather Graham performing Sousa marches on the coronet.
  
  
• Cynthia is secretly turned on by vintage port and Camaros.
  
  
• Joe is secretly turned on by naughty librarians and the QVC Collectible Doll show.
  
  
• Ursula is secretly turned on by tapioca pudding and container ships.
  
  
• Sally is secretly turned on by hot sake and the Blue Angels.
  

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The Weirdest Gig Ever

Action Plus has had more strange shows than normal ones. We've performed in the grand Art Deco cavern of the Mayan Theater in LA, and we've been given ten square feet by the kitchen at the San Francisco Beach Chalet (and been reprimanded when our toes overlapped the tape line on the floor).

We've helped confused bartenders figure out where to plug in microphones when the sound guy didn't show, and played at events where the bartenders were all dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess.

We've been swarmed for autographs by tourists at the Viper Room in Hollywood, and had our road cases buried under dirty tablecloths by hostile waiters in Santa Monica.

We've faced our share of challenging crowds, including a roomful of floor-seated Cranes fans and a Fillmore Auditorium full of highly annoyed swing dancers. Mostly, it's been pretty entertaining.

But the weirdest Action Plus evening so far was at one of our favorite venues, Bruno's, in San Francisco during the summer of 1998. The opening act featured a large man tap-dancing in a bubblegum-pink satin tuxedo while playing harmonica, accompanied by a Django Reinhart-style guitarist.

Ursula was introduced to the husband of one of her more conservative day-job employees immediately after changing clothes and spilling a drink, and had to shake hands with one hand full of vodka-soaked underwear and the other hand soaked with vodka (a true Action Plus moment).

A friend from another band arrived with a large package of tofu; we're still not sure why. A fight broke out in the bar, Sally's skirt flew up unexpectedly, and Action Plus's routine cover of Henry Mancini's "It Had Better Be Tonight" mutated into "Inna Gadda Da Vida." In the audience, one woman became so excited that she (accidentally, we think) lit her hair on fire.

Then the goths arrived — apparently there was a rumor that the Jesus & Mary Chain, in town that night, were going to show up. They never did, but the fifteen or so goths stayed anyway, dancing and enjoying the show. Truly a night to remember.

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